Blog Archives

When Time Stood Still


(A letter to my son, Christian)

It was Saturday, November 13, 2010. A typical winter’s day in Alaska, with a beautiful fresh snow blanketing the ground. What started out as a normal day quickly turned into the most horrific day of my life…the day I held your head in my hands and watched you die, helpless to do anything but pray.

Many times I had heard the phrase, “cry out to God”, but on that day, I literally screamed to Him, begging Him to save my baby. There are no human words to describe what I felt, but it seemed as if time had just suddenly stopped. It was as if I was in another world, watching, and waiting.

I don’t know why it occurred to me, or how it happened, but I was suddenly and utterly filled with an indescribable faith, somehow trusting and knowing that God was at work here, and that everything was going to be alright. As I let go and placed your soul into His mighty hands, for you were already dead, there was a surreal peacefulness that entered my spirit. For the first time in my life, I felt the presence of God in me and all around me. I had sensed His presence before, but this was different. This time it was physical!

The paramedics said you were dead for about an hour, but time did not exist for me. I remember everything I saw, heard, thought and felt. But it was like a flash, and yet eternal. It was as if the beginning of the world through to the end, was all rolled up into one breath.

When your heart began to beat again and life returned to your body, time began again, though it seemed painfully slow for several weeks.

It has been 5 years now, and there has not been one second that I have not felt a deep gratitude in my heart for the precious gift God has given us. There have been difficult moments as is the case in life, and there have been times when I have forgotten to say “thank you”. But I have never stopped feeling it.

The love I feel in my heart, for God, and for you, has grown with each day. I can’t imagine life without either of you, and I wouldn’t want to.

I’ve been allowed the privilege of watching you grow and blossom into the young man you are today, and I just want to tell you that I am proud of you! You may not always make good and right choices, you may be irritating at times, but I count it all as joy in seeing you live, in watching as you grow and walk with God.

As a mother, I will always be concerned about you, because I love you. But in the very depths of my soul, as long as you are in God’s hands, I know you will be okay. And so that is my prayer for you, that you live your life by God’s word, walking in His ways, and following His perfect plan for you. Live for God, and you will live well.

In honor of your (re)birthday today, I give God thanks for you, and I praise His mighty name for your life. It is a precious gift to be your mother, and it is an honor to call you my son.
I love you Christian…you forever hold my heart!

Momma

Advertisements

Faith, Hope & Miracles: A Re-birthday Celebration


November 13, a “re-birthday”. That is the term my son Christian uses to describe the anniversary of his death and return from heaven. He says he was “re-born” on that day, and it is certainly worthy of a celebration.

 
After a horrible accident, Christian was dead for almost an hour. During that time, he was in heaven with Jesus, where he also met his older brother, Jason. The experiences Christian shared with us over the next few months were astounding to say the least. It changed our lives.

 
Birthday celebrations involve gifts, but instead of receiving, we want to give. Christian said that Jesus wants us to know that He loves us all, and He wants us to be encouraged with faith and hope. It is that faith and hope that inspired our book, “Faith, Hope & Miracles”, and it is our gift to you. We have made it available for free on November 13 and 14, and we’re asking everyone to share it. Join us in our celebration of Christian’s “re-birthday”, share a little encouragement and hope!

 

Final Book Cover Free for a limited time, “Faith, Hope & Miracles”at Amazon.com

 
“Delightful, awe-inspiring, miraculous journey of one boy and his family. Gut-wrenching terror turns into a beautiful story of redemption, 2nd chances, and miracles in this journal of death-to-life healing and glorious victory. WOW! Highly recommended to stir your faith and encourage you that God is real, He’s alive, and He worked a precious miracle in this Alaskan family. You should read it today!” (Mary E. Hanks, author of “Winter’s Past”)

 

 

DSC02714 (1)
May God bless you with abundant love, peace and joy.

– Amber & Christian


Do You Really Believe in that Jesus Stuff?

A while back when driving home from church one Sunday, I overheard a conversation going on in the backseat of our van. It was between my son Christian and a couple of his friends that had been occasionally attending church with us. Their discussion had started off with statements about what had been studied that particular day in Sunday school class and I wasn’t really paying attention to what was being said at first.

For some unknown reason, my ears suddenly tuned in to their conversation just as one of the boys asked my son, “Do you really believe in that Jesus stuff?” As I heard the words coming out of Christian’s mouth, I felt the tears beginning to well up in my eyes. He answered, “Of course I do, I’ve seen Him. I sat on His lap when I died and went to heaven”.

For a moment I thought I might have to pull over as the tears began to flow. Christian seemed to take it all in stride, as if it was nothing out of the ordinary. But his friends were rather quiet for a few seconds. Then one of the boys asked, “Well what was it like, being in heaven”? Christian replied, “You know, it was the most beautiful place and there was lots of angels singing, and it was really bright. And it just felt so peaceful and good there. I didn’t want to ever leave”.

Again there was a brief silence, and then their conversation changed to the plans of activities for the afternoon. Once again I was reminded of how Christian’s perception of the world is so very different than mine. Not so long ago it was almost unperceivable to Christian that there are people in the world that do not believe in Jesus. For a while after his accident, he didn’t understand why people were so shocked when he told them that he had died and gone to heaven. To him, it seemed so acceptable and natural, because he had never had any doubt in his faith. His belief in the realness of Jesus was just as sure as knowing that day follows night, and he just couldn’t figure out why everyone else didn’t know that too.

Recently, after beginning to see and hear more about so many people that do not believe in Jesus, Christian seemed to be in a somber mood one evening. He asked me, “Mom, do you believe Jesus is real”? I was a little surprised by the question, but I answered, “Yes, I know He’s real”. He replied, “But you’ve never seen Him, so how do you know He’s real”? I said, “Because I can feel Him in my heart”. He thought about that for a moment and then asked, “Why can’t everyone feel Him in their heart and believe in Him”?

I thought back to the time before I believed and I asked myself the question, “Why didn’t I believe in Him then”? I knew about Him then, but I didn’t know Him in the personal way I do now. I remembered the painful and empty hole in my heart, a hole that had been there for almost as long as I could remember. How that hole had grown larger and more painful over the years, until it was consuming me. Even though I had read a lot of things in the bible and I knew about Jesus and what He did, I had never chosen on purpose to believe in Him. I had never invited Him into my heart. Then I remembered the night I did choose Him, and how that hole inside of me was filled with a love that I can’t explain. I can say that it is a joy like I’ve never known before, and I never want to lose it! It would be like losing the blood flowing through my veins and I would die without it.

I tried to answer Christian’s question, but it was not something that I could fully explain. I told him that a person has to choose to believe that Jesus is real and they have to open their heart to let His Spirit in. He won’t force His way in, He gives us the freedom to choose.

The question of why anyone would not choose to believe came up, and that question was easy enough to answer, but harder to explain. The answer is in the sinful nature of the heart of man. Because of that sinful nature, the heart and mind become confused and overwhelmed. The truth that can set us free (believing in Jesus) becomes hidden behind a wall of doubt and chaos. Satan keeps us in the darkness by deceiving us, trying to keep our minds focused on anything but the truth.

Why do you misunderstand what I say? It is because you are unable to hear what I am saying. [You cannot bear to listen to My message; your ears are shut to My teaching.] You are of your father, the devil, and it is your will to practice the lusts and gratify the desires [which are characteristic] of your father. He was a murderer from the beginning and does not stand in the truth, because there is no truth in him. When he speaks a falsehood, he speaks what is natural to him, for he is a liar [himself] and the father of lies and of all that is false. But because I speak the truth, you do not believe Me [do not trust Me, do not rely on Me, or adhere to Me].” John 8:43-45 AMP

As I was explaining this to Christian, I noticed the tears beginning to form in his eyes. He said, “I just wish everyone could see Jesus like I did and they would know He is real. Then they would love Him and want Him in their hearts too”. I told him that is why we tell others about Jesus’ love for us and the gift He has given us, and how He wants to give that same gift to them. We show His Spirit in us by the way we live our own life. But we cannot make anyone believe, that is a choice they must make for themselves.

I am so very thankful for Christian’s faith, and his desire to see all souls be saved. He has inspired my own faith and touched many hearts in more ways than he will ever know. I pray that fire in his heart never goes out, that the truth of Jesus continues to spread, and that hearts will be opened to receive Him. May God bless us with His Holy Spirit, creating in us a desire for revival and a passion for sharing Him with everyone around us. Amen.

Here is this week’s #TBSU List. I hope you’ll take some time to check out their sites. If you see something you like, please share. Have a great weekend, and God bless!

http://mustardseedbudget.wordpress.com/

http://caddoveil.com/

http://morningstoryanddilbert.wordpress.com/

http://preachercarter.wordpress.com/

http://mychristiancoffeeshop.wordpress.com/

http://jelillie.wordpress.com/

http://greenlightlady.wordpress.com/

http://settledinheaven.wordpress.com/

http://community321.com/

http://breadforthebride.wordpress.com/

 

 

 

 

%d bloggers like this: