Kid: “Mommy, what’s in your tummy”?
Mom: “Your baby sister”.
Kid: “You love her”?
Mom: “Yes, very much”.
Kid: “Then why did you eat her”?
Be fishers of men; you catch ‘em, God will clean ‘em!
Minister Couldn’t Stop Talking
This minister just had all of his remaining teeth pulled and new dentures were being made.The first Sunday, he only preached 10 minutes.The second Sunday, he preached only 20 minutes.
But, on the third Sunday, he preached 1 hour 25 minutes.
When asked about this by some of the congregation, he responded this way.The first Sunday, my gums were so sore it hurt to talk.
The second Sunday, my dentures were hurting a lot.
The third Sunday, I accidentally grabbed my wife’s dentures… and I
couldn’t stop talking!
One Sunday morning little Johnny was helping his mother bring the food dishes into the dining hall of the church for the picnic that was to follow the service. Suddenly little Johnny bolted up the stairs to the church sanctuary. A short time later as the congregation had gathered, waiting for the service to begin, the pastor stood at the baptismal tank with a puzzled look on his face. He looked at the congregation and asked, “who put these eggs in the tank?” Little Johnny stood up and replied, “I did Pastor. They’re deviled eggs, so they need to be baptized!”
Son Wants To Be A Minister
After church on Sunday morning, a young boy suddenly announced to his mother, “Mom, I’ve decided I’m going to be a minister when I grow up.
“That’s okay with us,” the mother said, “But what made you decide to be a minister?”
“Well,” the boy replied, “I’ll have to go to church on Sunday anyway, and I figure it will be more fun to stand up and yell than to sit still and listen.
Mississippi Church Sign
“Try Jesus. You’ll like Him! But if you don’t, the devil will gladly take you back.”